Canadians are stupid village assholes. In the rest of the Americas, they are laughed at and teased, believing that they eat beaver meat and fuck bears. In principle, this is not far from the truth.
Canada is similar to Russia for its climate, expenses, permafrost and the presence of some features that “the mind does not understand.”
Canada is a Confederation. Unlike Russia, federalism is felt here in everything. Canada consists of ten provinces (British Columbia, Manitoba, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Quebec, Ontario, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland, and Labrador) and three territories (Yukon, Northwest Territories, and Nunavut). Each province has its own government, Parliament, taxes, police and, of course, laws. In Canada, wherever you are, you will have to obey not only Federal laws but also local ones. In this regard, the country is very similar to the neighboring US.
Bilingualism in practice
English and French are recognized as official languages in Canada. English is the official state language in eight provinces of Canada. With the exception of Quebec two hundred years ago lost beautiful France, but today, speaking in French. Note that “Quebec French” (or joual) is quite different from the language spoken in modern France. Sometimes understanding Quebec – especially from remote parts of the province – is not an easy task, even for those who speak French from birth, let alone learn it as a foreign language. And it’s not so much in the Americanized pronunciation, but in the language itself, which has retained many outdated forms, which in France itself has long been forgotten. The only province in Canada where both languages are officially recognized is New Brunswick.
In Canada – an unreal number of Ukrainians. And they there continue to hate Muscovites and terribly rejoice when, for example, with the Russian dips something happens entertaining.
Here for example: the Khokhlov-TV-channel Canadian about drunk Russian dips.
Canadians vs Canadians
Anglo- and Franko- Canadians, as if to say it mildly, a little dislike each other. When Quebec Canadians say Canadien, that is, “Canadian”, they usually mean themselves, and to refer to the inhabitants of neighboring provinces use the wordles Anglais – “Englishmen“. Similarly, residents of other provinces: “Canadians,” they think of themselves, and the Quebecois are called “French Canadians“. The separation is felt not only on the language level but also at the household level, for example, if you go to Ontario with Quebec numbers, do not be surprised when someone for no reason starts to offend you and annoyingly honk, in Quebec on the treatment in English may not respond at all or send away. Such actions are universal political correctness is somehow allowed.
A country of immigrants
Canada has Eastern European, Balkan, Arab, Asian and African diasporas. Our compatriots are also many, for example, only in Toronto the Russian Diaspora has about 50 000 people. Although political correctness in Canada has not reached such proportions as in neighboring States, the words “Negro” or “Arab” here is better to forget forever.
Local specifics are interesting: it is considered politically incorrect to use the word “Eskimo” because it means” a person eating raw meat”, and the indigenous people of the North are called Inuit or First Nation, implying that these people inhabited the continent to the whites.
That here is unacceptable
As much as you may think that Canadians are similar to Americans in terms of behavior, clothing, gestures, beliefs, love for Barack Obama and political correctness – never tell them about it. Canadians may be offended – because deep down they despise their southern neighbors.
In Canada, very tolerant of representatives of non-traditional sexual orientation. Montreal so at all has a reputation the second gay-capital North America (after San Francisco, of course). Most freely homosexuals feel in the area of St. Catherine street – here is the highest density of brothels, gay and strip clubs. Puritanism has long been out of fashion in this quarter. But still Canada is big and different, so there are places – for example, somewhere in Manitoba or Saskatchewan – where political correctness is not in fashion and where gays are disliked.
Hockey cements the nation!
In Canada, it immediately becomes clear that hockey appeared here. Hockey here likes to madness. NHL matches are shown everywhere: in bars, cafes, clubs. For home viewing-especially when the local team plays-it is customary to stock up on chips, beer, hockey paraphernalia and gather a largely friendly crowd at the TV. Going to a real hockey match is not cheap: the ticket of the NHL series on average costs 60-90 dollars. But as an alternative, you can go to the League match lower rank, the spectacle there is no worse!
Where Canadians live
Wherever is convenient. No one – neither the Canadians themselves nor visitors – do not seek at all costs to live in the city center, because it is supposedly prestigious. Everyone chooses a house on their own principles: someone wants to rent an apartment closer to work, someone likes the historical center, and someone wants to live in an ecologically clean area… The residence is not a criterion of status, for example, if you live on the outskirts of the city, no one will ever despise you.
Pluralism in action!
Local housing is not cheap, but you can rent it without problems. You only need to properly pay the bills and do not interfere with the neighbors live. While not have to pay a lot: for example, in Montreal-Muscovites, smother with envy! – an excellent two-bedroom apartment costs only $ 500-600 per month.
Such intricate networks
Mobile communication in Canada is shocking to the Russians. The subscription fee is surprisingly high, but it does not end the cost of communication. Roaming is even within the province, which is unpleasantly surprising. Incoming calls in some cases are paid, but they are not free in all countries. To recharge the subscriber is not easy: it is in Russia at every step, automatic terminals, and the account can be replenished even in the salons of cellular communication, even in supermarkets, even in ATMs.
In Canada, you will most likely have to buy a scratch card and, as in ancient times, peel off the protective layer and send the opening number to the operator. In addition, you can not buy a payment card everywhere: it is sold in some shops and at gas stations, and sometimes it occurs in not obvious places (for example, in souvenir shops). But in Canada there is an excellent system of payphones – they are full literally on every corner.
Few people know that in Canada makes great wines. Mainly it is “icewine” or “ice wine” of icy grapes, which is collected in early December. This wine is extremely concentrated and fragrant, hence the price – not less than $ 50 per bottle of only 0.375 liters. But believe me, icewine is worth it! No wonder this wine is considered the hallmark of Canada in the gastronomic world.
And, of course, it is worth mentioning the local whiskey. It is considered the fourth in the world after the Scottish, Irish and American. Whiskey here is often called – “rye”. Although from a technological point of view, this is not quite true, the name stuck to Canadian whiskey a century and a half ago and no one is going to change it. Attention should be paid to classic Canadian brands – Crown Royal, Shenley OFC, Canadian Club, Seagram V. O.
But with vodka things are not so rosy. At best, you will meet the ubiquitous Absolut, or expensive “Moscow”, at worst – some malodorous muck from Poland.
Alcohol is sold only in specialized stores, but only until 22: 00-23: 00 (depending on the province), and after that time you will not sell even beer. Bars also close early enough-no later than three o’clock in the morning. Until a certain age, alcohol will not be sold at all the laws are honored here! A “cherished age” is quite large, for example, in the province of Ontario, it begins with 21 years.
Whenever you go to a cafe, bar, or restaurant, you have to tip – and they should be 12% of the order. The thing is that the waiters and bartenders pay taxes on tips, and if you are greedy, they will have to pay extra tax out of your pocket. So even at the bar, ordering a beer at the counter, you have to unfasten the tip to the bartender – and for each order.
Quit Smoking, canadian.…
Cigarettes are expensive. The cheapest-Peter Jackson are here about $ 7 per pack-which, you see, is not cheap. There are workarounds, you can buy cigarettes from the Indians (about $ 20 per block). But, first, it will have to go to the reservation, and secondly, it will be illegal-tax breaks on tobacco and alcohol have Indians, but the resale of these goods is illegal.
The Internet to save
Canadians are economical. It’s nice that the economy does not grow into avarice, but it is quite reasonable and well organized. For example, there are Internet resources that publish ads ready to give certain things for free. There are also ads for the sale of used cars, search for travel companions for a trip to the car, companions for rental housing, etc.