It’s a hole in the globe, the end of geography in General, sheep, lack of women and hobbits. Hobbits, milk, and sheep. Milk, sheep, and hobbits. And the complete absence of broads.
If you want to die of beauty and longing – come to New Zealand. Beautiful, but dreary as hell. In form, it is similar to Italy, only torn in half, like a hot water bottle.
There are often earthquakes, but nobody cares. Actually, the hobbits to see fail, but then have their burrows. Nora was built for a famous movie in the correct translation of the Goblin, and I think – where? At the sheep farm, of course.
1. Not the tropics. Neither the North nor the South Island Of New Zealand has a warm climate. Yes, in the summer (November to April) there is really good for my taste: +18-25, however, the rest of the time there are rains lasting a week and frost. Before the driving test, I scraped frost off the windshield.
2. Women wear makeup and heels only when they go to people: to a club, to a party, to the Opera, to ballet and so on. The very clear state of things, in fact: why would they be painted every day? Gender equality is, of course, supported in New Zealand. “Feminist” is not a dirty word.
3. Hardened kiwi (New Zealanders call themselves so) go at 0C in t-shirts and shorts. I will not hide, this phenomenon is not completely clear to me. Familiar local doctors talked about the existing fact: the local childhood used to freeze a little because better tolerate low temperatures, less sick.
4. The most common garbage on the streets — packages and packaging of fast food chains. They say that, for example, in South Auckland, the concentration of catering establishments like McDonalds-one of the highest in the world.
And Yes, there are no elves in New Zealand. The orcs, however, occur. Women, too, there, quite. But there are cute lambs.
5. It is expensive to be a smoker in New Zealand. Already now a pack of cigarettes costs 16 NZD, and by 2020 they plan to either ban or raise the price to $ 25. To purchase tobacco products, you need to show a document certifying your age. Smoking is not allowed in the premises. Like in this year talked about how, to to ban Smoking in the center of the cities at all. Bad habit,that there.
6. A few days a year, skiing in the mountains near Christchurch, you can relatively comfortably swim in the tolerable cold ocean near the city: from a snowboard to a surfboard!
7. The relationship between New Zealand and Australia is somewhat similar to what is happening between the US and Canada (South Park fans will understand) or Russia and Ukraine. If you call a Ukrainian Russian, he will be offended. If kiwi call Ozzy (“Aussie”), he necessarily you would correct. Not the fact that it works both ways. It is said that Australians perceive New Zealand as a couple of small Islands inhabited by farmers and sheep, the latter ten times more.
8. Separate fact: New Zealand is not Australia. The distance between these two completely different countries is more than two thousand kilometers. Almost as between Moscow and Omsk, which, as you know, in Siberia, near Novosibirsk. One of the common myths.
9. To buy beer, you need to present a document (license, passport, plastic identification card 18+), and to get on the plane — no: you can “check-in” online or by SMS.
10. New Zealand is very beautiful, Yes, Yes-as in the Lord of the Rings. However, most of the beauty that you could see in the trilogy of Peter Jackson, yet on the South Island, where almost no one except the farmers do not live, and tourism services, as European guests say, is not yet very developed.
11. SMS in New Zealand is called TXT (text). Russian immigrants say “text one me” by analogy with the English “text me, please.”
12. eBay here was completely trashed by the project of one nineteen-year-old student called TradeMe. This is where people buys and sells, looking for a job, home, car, offers. The kid’s a millionaire now, of course.
13. There are no orphanages or stray animals in New Zealand. Children are adopted (I heard in the queue are for years), the animals are caught and… Admit, I’m not sure how soon they are put to sleep. Likely held for several months in the nursery in case the owners will miss.
14. All year round, in any weather, it is recommended to use sunscreen. Fight skin cancer here, of course, know how, in the early stages it is treated. Just do it at the expense of the state is expensive-the state. That’s why doctors recommend not to walk down the street just like that. As in the case of recommendations in the spirit of” do 6000 steps a day”, cream smeared not all.
15. Thursday is as crowded as Saturday. People are happy that tomorrow is Friday.
16. At the exit of the bus to say thank you to the driver: a simple “thank you” or “thank you, driver”. In 90% of cases, so do polite passengers. That’s very nice. Bus drivers often wait for the passenger to sit down before they go. If the passenger is elderly — always.
17. Wildlife-just untrodden paths and weeds — there is not very much. The land is not so much, and it always belongs to someone. In national parks everywhere signs, pointers, how much to go and in what direction. Some Hiking trails (Milford Track) need to be booked in advance. It’s really beautiful.
18. Almost nowhere you can burn fires. Open fire is known to be the cause of most forest fires. In addition, after such wild tourists always remains garbage. Once upon a time I asked the kiwi-guy Matt, they say, why not burn the fires, because such a beautiful country? “Because it is beautiful that you can not burn —” he replied. There’s something about it.
19. It is not customary to stay at work. Hurry is not in the tradition of kiwi. Vanity is contraindicated. If the company is looking for a person URGENTLY, then within six months the position will be occupied. It is normal if you are not immediately answered the letter, it is normal if the Internet is connected for three weeks.
20. Grazing in private fields horses dressed in a kind of coat. I once believed that to keep out the cold, turned from the sun. The point about its dangers, see above.
21. The most dangerous animal of all fauna is a wild boar. Everything else is birds. You should not be afraid to sleep at night with a tent and walking in the dark barefoot in the woods. No snakes here either.
22. Mosquitoes in New Zealand can be said are lacking. On the South Island in the wilds of Milford Sound and in the area is found impressive size of the most opposite midges, and so everything is quiet. You sit on the lake and mosquitoes do not buzz. Even something unusual was in the beginning.
23. There is little or no corruption here. It is impossible to bribe a police officer. Stories of this kind usually amuse kiwi companies. Of course, somewhere at the level of urban development, perhaps, working rollback scheme (not the fact that illegal). However, in the home for six years, never faced with the fact that someone offered “as another way to solve the issue” or hinted at what you need to “grease”. Greatly simplifies life.
24. In New Zealand drive on the left side. Quite a simple fact, there is nothing to add.
25. The lunar month here is more like a tilted bowl than a sickle. New Zealanders look a bit on another the sky. I used to be mistaken in thinking that one of the few, if not the only, creations appearing in the Northern and southern hemispheres was the constellation of the Hare. It bullshit, of course.
26. Kiwi and Australians are constantly arguing about the origin of various phenomena: whether Russell Crowe or a variety of coffee “flat white” (like a latte).
27. New Zealand is a country of small businesses. It is very easy to open a business and stay afloat at first. Rumor has it that the talents of New Zealand land is full, but perseverance is not enough: as soon as the company grows up, it is bought or taken to Australia. Such case.
28. The winter is from June to August. Summer is from December to February. Now winter sales are in full swing.
29. In New Zealand, as I wrote above, do not like to hurry, and love to plan. To do this, it is worth noting, is very convenient-stable political and economic systems contribute.
30. Mobile communications and the development of Internet communications leave much to be desired. The first is due to the low population density and mountainous landscape. The second is with laziness of Telecom companies and small population. Unlimited tariffs “Download how many will get”, as far as I know, only one or two. And then, here just received a letter that increase the cost.
31. It is believed that the American dream — family, home, car, stable work, medicine, ocean, Hobbies, sports — is much closer to reality in New Zealand than at home in the United States. There is a so-called ” rule of three b”: BMW, Bach, Boat – “Bach”, cottage, yacht. Not very difficult, having a head on his shoulders, and hard-working hands, without lying and stealing to earn these things by the age of fifty. Everyone will be.
32. Five favorite New Zealand sports in descending order of adoration: Rugby, cricket, netball, tennis, football. “Netball” – basketball without a shield, especially well played by women.
33. Favorite New Zealand food: “fish & chips” – chips and fish in batter, lamb with Kumar chips (sweet roots, sweet potatoes, orange potatoes). Very popular honey Manuka (Manuka Honey) has antiseptic properties: it natives once smeared wounds. All better, than water wash.
34. Marijuana seems to be banned, but the police do not particularly chase those who smoke. We used to have a rule at home: there should be wine in the refrigerator, there should be grass in the locker. Just in case. Once a year, fans of marijuana gather in the center, where they smoke and as if hinting that such ordinary things have long been legalized.
35. In New Zealand, love coffee and know how to cook it. In Auckland and Wellington, a huge number of cafes per capita. I will not hide, also addicted and have already visited 50 different institutions. Tea, too, like, but less.
36. On the one hand, the conscious part of the population is a lot and persistently engaged in sports and monitors their health, and on the other — New Zealand is in third place in the world in obesity (data for 2012). This is due to the arrived islanders who are genetically predisposed to fullness, there is such a sad fact.
37. Street names are indicated at intersections. This, in my opinion, is very inconvenient. Lost in the middle of a long straight street, figs will know where you are — no name, no house number. Oh, Yes, the house numbers are not standardized, and are written in the format of “from the noodle”: as the owner of the house please. There are no standardized plates with convex figures, as in Russia.
38. Famous New Zealanders: Edmund Hillary first climbed Everest, Peter Jackson made one of the most successful in the history of epic cinema based on the works of Tolkien, Ernest Rutherford — scientist nuclear scientist, whom we all remember from school. The list goes on and on.
39. On foot outside the center almost no one goes: cars and buses rid adults of this. Rare passers-by, local teenagers shouting, passing by in a car, hurtful words. Very stupid thing to do, because most often because of the Doppler effect not a word to make out.
40. In New Zealand, the streets and parks are clean, there is almost no garbage. About the graffiti noticed on the wall can be reported to the city authorities and for a couple of days the wall will be repainted for free, hide traces of vandalism. The same applies to unauthorized landfills.
41. The machines all go neatly enough, nobody honking with impatience. Here polite drivers. However, I heard a friend who came from provincial to local standards of Christchurch, complained of rude drivers in Auckland. For me this year, it seems that a couple of times “buzzed.”
42. Art is available to the people. Not so long ago, the reconstruction of the Auckland art gallery was completed. It’s cool. In General, the museums have free excursions with a guide. Recently arrived from St. Petersburg friend liked that the art gallery is full of volunteers who can ask a question.
43. On the street in the center of Auckland, as befits a relatively large city, there are many activists of anything that wants something from you: to save the forest, to save the whale, to love Jesus, to fall out of love with the Prime Minister. It’s called a democratic society.
44. At the entrance to many parks there are liquids for cleaning shoes from infection – you need to spray the sole, kill germs. Deal of course voluntary, controller there is no.
45. It is very likely that if you go to a doctor (approximately 100 NZD), you will be prescribed Panadol or given Strepsils cough drops and released back home. This is not because of the inability of doctors to do their job, but because there is another medical system. Very good, it is worth noting.
46. Due to the fact that we live on the island, there is a very large selection of good used cars, yachts, boats and all that. At the same time register just bought a car takes five minutes (fill out the form at the post office), after purchase, you can take the keys and go. It took me about a year and 80 thousand rubles to learn from scratch and get a full car license, including the purchase of a car.
47. The post office here works like a clock: 90% of what I buy, I order online with payment by credit card and home delivery. Forgot the other day in a hotel under the mountain (five hours from Auckland by car) phone. The next day the mobile was brought to the threshold. Needless to say, it takes no more than five minutes to send a parcel to Russia at the nearest post office. I, of course, hire and make it all up.
48. In the history of the Olympic games, New Zealand has won more medals per capita than any other country.
49. A special delicacy is small fish called Whitebait. The fry hang out along the shores in droves. They are not easy to catch, but very tasty to add to the morning omelet and pour melted butter. The” composition ” includes fry river fish, which in the spring during the tides spawns at the mouth of the river. It is extracted manually, costs from 120-150 NZD per kilo.
50. The longest geographical name in the world belongs to the low (305m) New Zealand hill: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu. I can’t say it in Russian.
51. Farm children entertain the fact that you are participating in the competition: who’s next to throw a dead possum or who better to dress up a stuffed possum. Usually a few days later, such news get to the Russian press in the section”about life”.
52. It is not very dirty on the streets, so many even in the city center go barefoot.
53. The two Islands have accumulated a huge amount of natural beauty. Here and tropical jungles with palm trees and vines, and green fields, and snowy mountains, and fjords, and geysers, and rivers, and volcanoes, and… what have I forgotten? Well, in General, everything is, except the tundra. However, and that can be found, climbing mount cook in the Southern Alps.
54. New Zealand has three official official languages: English, Maori and sign language. And two anthems: national and British, respectively.
55. To drive a car on the left side, you need a right. But to control the boat on the water-no. You can buy a boat for ten thousand dollars to keep it from sinking.
56. Foreign students-one of the main items of replenishment of the state budget. It is cheaper to study here than in Europe and Australia, the level of Universities is quite high, and the living conditions, you know, comfortable. “Cheaper” is NZ $ 20,000 per year.
57. In New Zealand, young people kick Balda up to 25-30 years. Because they can. What do you think, what percentage of able-bodied New Zealanders have higher education, comparable in duration and number of completed courses with the usual Russian magistracy? Two percent. Bachelors-eleven percent. Because every janitor does not need to become a master of philosophy to live a normal life. Many New Zealanders do not study not because it is difficult, expensive or inaccessible, but because it seems so good. There’s dad’s farm, wife, ocean and surfing.
58. The unemployment rate varies between 6 and 7 per cent. Not a lot, but not a little (in Australia below).
59. Newspapers write a lot about the outcome of kiwi in Australia, where the ruble is longer, “movement” more and less earthquakes. According to various estimates, Australia is currently home to about half a million New Zealand citizens. This is almost 10% of the population. Some Ozzy made fun of, they say, kiwis come in large numbers. I have not yet formed my point of view on this matter.
60. A little to the fact that New Zealand women are not very beautiful. The average number of sexual partners in the life of an ordinary world woman is 7.3. For kiwi female-20.3 partner. In New Zealand, the situation is unique from a statistical point of view: the average number of sexual partners in men (16.8) is less than in the opposite sex.
61. Russian, or rather Russian-speaking, in New Zealand about 10,000 people, according to my estimates. There were several waves of emigration, but a stable community like the American “Brighton” was not formed. Someone hangs out on forums, someone in blogs,and someone funny looks away at the meeting, so God forbid not to give a Russian. Everyone has a different attitude towards compatriots.
62. New Zealanders are easy to travel. Often it sounds like: “What I did not see there, I feel good here.” Many of them were not on the South Island.
63. In Putin’s election for Putin in New Zealand voted as follows: Auckland 29.77%, Wellington 40%, Christchurch 34.51%.
64. Since we are talking about cults and religion, New Zealand is among the ten most, so to speak, non-religious countries near Cuba and Nederlands. Looking at the Orthodox Texan in the movie “Paul”, who shakes the Bible and something about thunder and lightning screams, the whole theater laughs sincerely. “Pussy Riot”, as in all normal countries, is supported and condemned by the ROC.
65. Closing the topic, Putin was in Auckland more than once. In September 1999, the APEC meeting was held here. Among the representatives of the participating countries were bill Clinton, Chinese leader Jiang Zemin and Putin. That year Putin had to think about a bright future, write program articles with titles in the spirit of “Russia at the turn of the Millennium”, it was necessary to go out in people. The book even came out ” Did Putin visit NZ for the KGB?”.
66. New Zealand is the second “peaceful” country in the world after Iceland and before Japan.
67. New Zealand has the highest suicide rate among young males in Oceania. Contrast, isn’t it? And it was almost twice as bad: 44 per 100,000 in 1995 changed to 29 in 2009.
68. New Zealand culture is quite unique and is a mix of Anglo-Saxon, Imperial snobbery, surf, farm simplicity and native taboos. The result is English culture with peppercorn. For this reason, there are big advertising agencies: BBDO, DDB, Saatchi & Saatchi, Ogilvy.
69. Despite the fact that in Wellywood supergiants like “Avatar” and “Lord of the rings” are made, 70% of movies are shot in Auckland studios.
70. In New Zealand shakes, but all are accustomed. The proportions according to the GeoNet website are as follows: 4,0-4,9 — 1 a day, 5,0-5,9 — 2 per month, 6,0-6,9 — 2 a year, 7,0-7,9 — 1 in 3 years, 8.0 and above-1 in 100 years. In Auckland in this sense quiet. Most of the walls are swinging in Christchurch, Wellington, Napier.
71. New Zealand is quite a feminist country. Here, long ago, the first women were given the right to vote. In the eighties, three of the most important state posts were occupied by women at the same time.
72. Sheep In New Zealand are about 10 times more than people: 31.1 million sheep and 4.4 million people.
73. On average, they get married and have children at the age of 28-30. This age has decreased compared to the last decade. Myth “after 25 it’s late” is absolutely not supported.
74. Maori words are woven into New Zealand English. Every Kiwi knows that “puku” is the stomach, and “wai” is water, “mana”, is the greatness, and so on. They are read as they are heard. Except that the combination “wh” will sound like “f”: Anawhata = Anahata.
75. New Zealanders believe that New Zealand wine — the best in the world. The fact is, of course, controversial.
76. Nowhere in the world there are so many different ethnic cuisines as In New Zealand. In each area there are at least Chinese, Indian, Thai restaurants. In the Central dining rooms (“food court”) collected more than 15 different cultures. Supermarkets sell” approved ” beef and goat meat for Muslims, Kumar and Taro for islanders.
77. Rugby is a national sport. The coolest guys, which are shown in commercials for the national airline to advertise and invite everyone (from shorts to a quick Breakfast) is a Rugby players from the national team the All Blacks. World Champions, by the way.
78. Supergirl Bruce McLaren is originally from New Zealand.
79. New Zealand audience at the last in September 2011 Rugby world Cup surprisingly warmly received the Russian team. Our guys, as it seemed to me at the meeting, did not expect this and were very touched. Russia has great potential in this sport, all the resources are there, you just need to get sick and train.
80. In New Zealand go for permanent residence mainly from Britain, China and India. Russian colleagues and fellow citizens — a drop in the sea. It is especially important to understand this to the most excellent Russian programmers in the world, who get a job here on a par with no less talented and much better English-speaking immigrants from the Philippines/Bangladesh/Indonesia/Thailand and other countries, where there is also access to the Internet and teach mathematics at school. Russophobia resting, it’s statistics.
81. Unfortunately, cancer often get sick here — the third in the world in the percentage of cancer-related deaths: in 2007, 19700 people received a terrible diagnosis, 8519 died of cancer.
82. In New Zealand, there are 186 prisoners per 100,000 citizens, which is one and a half times more than in Australia and four times less than in the United States.
83. From New Zealand to Los Angeles is about the same as from Los Angeles to Moscow. The average ticket” to the world ” costs about 1900 NZD. To Europe to fly two flights of twelve hours. Very tedious, it is worth noting.
84. Half of New Zealand‘s forests were destroyed by Maori long before Europeans arrived. Stupidly burned out.
85. By the nineteenth century, Maori had eaten all the world’s largest flightless MoA birds (up to 230 kg adult). After that, the largest flying birds died out: the giant eagles of Haast, who also mainly ate MoA.
86. Two of the most active in the world SUPERVOLCANO located in the centre of the North Island. If the volcanoes Wake up, all life on the island will die and the summer in the world that year will most likely not. There have been no such eruptions in the history of modern mankind.
87. Let’s continue the apocalyptic theme. Auckland is on 50 volcanoes. Rangitoto Island, which pleases the eye when viewing the Auckland Bay, came out of the ocean about 550 years ago. The then inhabitants of the island, to put it mildly, were surprised. The volcano erupted for several years. Promise that will be no more.
88. General tolerance already allows us to consider two people of the same sex partners living in a civil marriage: that is, in the case of “divorce”, you can claim part of the acquired property. This year, the law on same-sex marriages will be adopted with a high probability, then such families will be able to adopt children, which, in my opinion, is OK. In the center there is a Church of St. Matthew, there seems to baptize and marry dogs. A very progressive Church. Their Billboard is always some fanatics smeared with paint, they say, is blasphemy. In vain, because the posters are very witty and cute even atheists who can appreciate humor.
89. In New Zealand, the professional army, there is not so easy to get, you need to take exams and stuff. Once a year someone dies on the war in Afghanistan: there are New Zealanders helping on organizational issues (guidance, communication, food) and shoot sometimes (still more to shoot). From 2001 to 2005 and from 2009 to 2011 operated a detachment commando of the Special Air Service (by the way, good — trained with the British and Australian SAS).
90. It is impossible to leave children without adult supervision up to age 14. Children go to school at the age of five, usually on their birthday. In kindergartens, you can write a child from 0-there are no queues rather than there, because they are all paid. I’m not very focused on the prices of these things.
91. In one of the Northern points of the North island you can see how the two oceans converge.
92. They say the prisons here are like a pioneer camp. They, along with nursing homes — are one of the most profitable investments in the long-term (you understand the pun, right?) prospect. A controversial point: the teeth of prisoners in prison are treated for free, for our, that is, money.
93. The coach of The New Zealand national football team will earn the usual 50,000 NZD per year. In 2010, the All Whites team did not lose a single game.
94. New Zealand, as they say, is free of nuclear energy. There is no nuclear power plant, here do not go nuclear-powered vessels. The last time was the reason for the complication of relations with the United States. Helen Clark did not let the American aircraft carrier in the New Zealand port.
95. On the streets of the city and in the parks are free drinkers-taps with water. Often give out free sunscreen in crowded places.
96. Swim on many beaches can only be between flags (under the supervision of rescuers). This is especially true of the West side of the North Island. At the same time, the beaches are not equipped by Russian standards: there are no sun loungers and umbrellas. The truth is almost always possible to change, rinse in the shower and so on. Nobody goes around selling beads and ice cream.
97. All traffic lights are equipped with a button for the blind and a vibration button for the deaf. Some bus stops when you press the voice button report when the next bus. Some traffic lights light up, if you step on the platform next to the transition, there are weight sensors.
98. Prostitution in New Zealand was first decriminalized and then legalized. It costs from 30 NZD in simple areas to 200 NZD in ordinary brothels and above in “elite” escorts. One of the recent mega-news — prostitutes in South Auckland use road signs as poles to attract customers, rely on them and make all sorts of shapes, why, given the size of the local Islander ladies, metal poles bend and break. This is a real problem.
99. Tower sky tower (SkyTower), adorning the urban landscape like the Eiffel, originally did not want to build. More specifically, he asked the townspeople, it is necessary to you? They said, no, bullshit. And the tower was built anyway. Now the city has a character and a face. Sky Tower is the tallest man-made building in the southern hemisphere.
100. New Zealand is probably the best country in the world.